PICTURE
February 11, 1999

"See the guy in the green uniform, private? That's a German. JURR-MUNN. We're supposed to shoot them when we see them. (Gawd, where are they *getting* these replacements from??")

"Ooops, booger! Hold still, I'll get it"

"Your agent? He's at the buffet table. Uh, Jack . . . why don't you let me have the M-1 before you go over there?"

"Pull my finger! C'mon, it'll make ya laugh!"

"Hey, Soldier, what do you see over there?" "A bunch of cute French civilians who need to be informed we're here to liberate them?" "Exactly."

"Hey! You want your face to stay that way?"

"Hey, there's that Spielberg kid, -- taking notes again!"

"I TOLD you that parking space was reserved for the Sherman!"

"Are you sure this is the way to the 'Wagon Train' chowline??"

"That bad man took my helmet! Go beat him up for me, private, will ya, huh?"

"The latrine is straight ahead!"

Good chaw, eh? Gotta spit? See that dumb lookin' dogface? That's Kirby. See if you can hit him. G'won ... just let it fly.

"Off the Zundapp....over the Kubelwagen...around the tower....and into the OP!"

"Lookit, we're gonna take that farmhouse, you got me soldier?? As long as you do what I say, you'll stay alive for chow..."

" Oh...you're the one who got Jason talking out of the side of his mouth,eh ? KNOCK IT OFF!

"Yes, I see the %#$@&!* boo-boo on your finger, Sarge! Talk to Doc - I'm fightin' a war here!"

"TEN bucks, if you bring down the 'Beer' sign on Kirby's head!"

See that tally sheet? You need 10 dead Germans, 5 injured Germans, 2 dead cows and a demolished French village before you chow down....Sorry, acting is tough.

That on there? Yeah, I've killed him, too. I think it was two or three episodes ago.

Ask that medic for somethin' to take care of that itch. By the way, what the hell are you eatin' now?

"Give me what I want and I'll go away"

Hey Jack, they're handin' out live ammo again. I'm all for realisim, but this is rediculous.....

"You see that man? He's Hanley, our leuitenant. He's the most freindly and lovable man you could ever meet. I hate him."

"Remember -- your weapon was made by the lowest bidder!"

"Dat a bird...? plane...?, no, no...dat 's superman!

Hey soldier, are you listening to me? Do you hear me? You're chewing on a cockroach!"

I'm telling you for the last time. We have no room on this show for you. Go down there and try out for Garrison's Gorillas.

"No, you idiot...I said his NAME was Caje. Now go let him out!"

"That does it, you're outa here! I warned you, Jack, one more lousy 'Borscht Belt' joke and you were history! Now, off the set!"

Kirby is down. Take the BAR and kill some Krauts.

That's Private Ryan? For that you woke me up!

Listen, Jack, seeing as how an Arty round might take us out any second, I gotta be honest. See that GI, his name is Rickles. He's a whole lot funnier than you. In fact, I'd eat cold C rats for a month and start wearing leggings again, just to get him in my sqaud.

Jack, see that guy? He's the propmaster who wanted me to carry a REAL Thompson sub-machine gun in this show. You know Old Blue Eyes, see if you can get Lucca to pay him a visit!

Yes, that is your agent, and yes, the propman has bayonets. Why do you ask?

That's not a man, that the general's sister and she's your date. Have fun on your 48-hour pass.

"Don't forget -- when the Enemy's in range, so are YOU!"