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Littlejohn Gems

Compiled with notes December 27, 1999 by Nancy LionStorm.

This page honors Dick Peabody’s endearing portrayal of Littlejohn. The following scenes are precious gems. Some are funny; some gut wrenching. Others are heart-warming. But they’re all delivered with Dick Peabody’s ingeniously executed, Littlejohn style.

(All dialogue is copyright ABC-TV. See each episode excerpt for writer credits.)

Far From the Brave - Season 1, Episode 5, Syndication No. 14
written by Burt Kennedy

[Scene: Kirby picks up Grady Long’s BAR and makes believe he’s killing the enemy while Littlejohn and Caje sit on the ground at a cook fire.]

LITTLEJOHN: Hey, watch what you’re doing with that thing, Kirby.

CAJE: You want to kill somebody, Kirby?

KIRBY: Krauts, just Krauts old buddy. That’s all. That’s what I call a gun!

LITTLEJOHN: That’s what you’re SUPPOSED to call a rifle. Don’t you remember anything they taught you in basic training, Kirby?

KIRBY: Now look, I’m alive ain’t I? I must have picked up one or two things along the way, right?

LITTLEJOHN: Yeah, like digging your hole deeper than anyone else. Always volunteering to be the getaway man.

KIRBY: You kill me, Littlejohn.

LITTLEJOHN: It’s crossed my mind.

 

The Leader – Season 4, Episode 31, Syndication No. 127
Esther & Bob Mitchell

[Scene: Surrounded by enemy forces, with Saunders missing and Caje seriously wounded Kirby, in charge of the squad, leaves to reconnoiter a farmhouse.]

SCOTT: What’s he going to do at the farmhouse?

MAYNARD: Maybe he thinks he’s going to find a tank with the motor running. Boy are we in bad shape: four dead, three wounded, cutoff and surrounded, and Kirby in charge.

LITTLEJOHN: What would you do, Maynard?

MAYNARD: Pull back and work our way to the C.P.

LITTLEJOHN: Yeah, sure. With three wounded men and Kraut patrols between us and home.

MAYNARD: So we’ll take our chances. Couldn’t be any worse than this. Or do you just want to sit around and wait to be killed just because Kirby said so?

LITTLEJOHN: That’s right Maynard, because Kirby’s in charge. Maybe you think you could do better. But like I said, Kirby’s in charge, so why don’t you just shut up!

Glow against the Sky - Season 2, Episode 8, Syndication No. 4
written by Kay Lenard and Jess Carneol

[Scene: Having rescued Billy, Littlejohn, Kirby and Caje are back behind the American lines standing outside a building with a Red Cross truck parked outside. Saunders exits the building and walks towards the men.]

LITTLEJOHN: Hey Sarge, how was he? Is he going to be all right?

KIRBY: What’s the word, huh?

CAJE: Is he going to be all right?

SAUNDERS: Oh, he’s fine. He’s sleeping.

KIRBY: Hey that’s very good.

CAJE: Wonderful.

LITTLEJOHN: That’s great! Sarge there’s no hard feeling?

SAUNDERS: No Littlejohn, no hard feelings. It’s all fixed. You’re being transferred to Sgt. MacDunna’s squad.

LITTLEJOHN: Sarge! You can’t do that!

SAUNDERS: Well, it’s done. Macky’s waiting for you to report in now. You better get going, you know Mack. He goes strictly by the book.

LITTLEJOHN: But Sarge!

SAUNDERS: By the book. [Littlejohn walks dejectedly away from the group.]

CAJE: Hey, Sarge? Aren’t you leaning on him kind of hard?

KIRBY: You can’t just turn that big ape out on the street.

CAJE: Yeah, he’s a good guy Sarge.

SAUNDERS: Well, one week of temporary duty with Mack and he’ll be glad to get back to where he belongs. He’ll appreciate it then.

[The three walk past Littlejohn ignoring his plaintive look, and as the music swells Littlejohn plops down on the curb, with head hung low and arms dangling over his knees. For all the world the image incarnate of a dejected little boy.]

Far From the Brave - Season 1, Episode 5, Syndication No. 14
written by Burt Kennedy

[The Scene: Nighttime indoors. Billy starts raking the ground with one hand...]

BILLY: Littlejohn?

LITTLEJOHN: Yeah. What's the matter?

BILLY: You're going to be mad at me again.

LITTLEJOHN: I am? Why?

BILLY: Look! [Holds up grenade.]

LITTLEJOHN: I'm looking.

BILLY: The pin! It's gone.

LITTLEJOHN: It's gone?

BILLY: You see, it was loose, and I was trying to bend it so it wouldn't come out, and I dropped it. I can't find it!

LITTLEJOHN: Well, don't let go of the handle.

BILLY: I wont, I wont!

LITTLEJOHN: How many times have I told you not to fool around with grenades, Billy?

BILLY: Well, I was trying' to...

LITTLEJOHN: Just trying to blow your head off, not to mention the rest of us.

BILLY: It's got to be here someplace! If the sergeant finds out about this he'll really give it to me good.

LITTLEJOHN: Yeah, like the time you washed your rifle in soap and water.

BILLY: Ooo, yeah.

LITTLEJOHN: [Littlejohn finds and palms grenade pin.] Well, I guess you're going to have to sit up all night and hold that handle, Billy.

BILLY: I can't do that!

LITTLEJOHN: Only thing you can do if you want to stay in one piece… Billy, [Littlejohn holds up pin] give it here.

BILLY: Ah, thanks.

LITTLEJOHN: [As he inserts grenade pin, he mouths…] Son of a b _ _ _ _.

 

Cat and Mouse – Season 1, Episode 9, Syndication No. 15
Written by Robert Altman

[Scene: While passing through a cemetery the squad takes cover from a mortar attack.]

HANLEY: Dig in!

LITTLEJOHN: Is he kidding?

CAJE: What?

HANLEY: You heard me, dig in.

LITTLEJOHN: This is one hole I thought somebody else would dig for me.

Night Patrol – Season 1, Episode 22, Syndication No. 24
Written by Frank Jesse, Quentin Sparr

[The Scene: Littlejohn and Billy enter cave…]

BILLY: This place gives me the creeps.

LITTLEJOHN: Creeps?

BILLY: Yeah, just look at it.

LITTLEJOHN: What’s wrong with it?

BILLY: Well, it’s so weird.

LITTLEJOHN: We’ve got a cave back home. It was full of bats.

BILLY: Bats!

LITTLEJOHN: Those things that hang upside down.

BILLY: Well, you don’t suppose there’s... there’s any around here, do ya?

LITTLEJOHN: There’s a way to find out.

BILLY: What’s that?

LITTLEJOHN: Take off your hat.

BILLY: My hat?

LITTLEJOHN: Yeah, bats like to swoop down and get in your hair.

BILLY: They do

LITTLEJOHN: Fellow back home got a bat in his beard. Took two barbers and a game warden to get it out.

BILLY: Krhhh! You’re kidding.

LITTLEJOHN: You think so? Take off your hat.

Next in Command - Season 1, Episode 18, Syndication No. 23
Burt Kennedy

[The Scene: Billy spots Littlejohn riding a bicycle through town.]

BILLY: Hey, Littlejohn! Hey, where’d you get the bike?

LITTLEJOHN: Haven’t got time to talk to you Billy. I’m a courier taking a message from Lt. Hanley to the sergeant.

BILLY: Oh yeah? What’s up?

LITTLEJOHN: You know better than to ask a courier a question like that… We’re moving out.

BILLY: Moving out?

LITTLEJOHN: You heard me.

BILLY: Where to?

LITTLEJOHN: There you go again pumping me, Billy.

BILLY: Well, I ... I was only trying to find out…

LITTLEJOHN: You were only taking advantage of a friendship to get information! A place called Beauvey [spelling?]… Seems there’s a farmhouse on a hill.

BILLY: Littlejohn, that farmhouse on a hill, has it got any Krauts on it?

LITTLEJOHN: Ain’t they always?

Bridgehead - Season 2, Episode 2 Syndication No. 39
Written by Edward J. Lakso

[The Scene: Littlejohn lies wounded on a table as Doc attends to his wound.]

LITTLEJOHN: Doc did you? Did you see what I did to him? Did you see the way he was lying there at the bridge?

DOC: Yeah, well you’re hurt pretty bad. There’s no point in making it any worse. Now you just like back and take it easy. Now, come on.

LITTLEJOHN: You couldn’t see his face when he looked up at me. He was so helpless, so scared.

DOC: Okay, just take it/a easy now. We’ll talk about it later, Okay?

[Lt. Hanley enters cellar.]

HANLEY: How you doing, Littlejohn?

LITTLEJOHN: Lieutenant? Lieutenant, I gotta tell you. Ou... out there, I bungled.

DOC: We’ll talk about that later Littlejohn.

[After 39 seconds of dialogue between Lt. Hanley and Doc, the famous "get me a gun" scene, we return to Littlejohn.]

HANLEY: Shrope. Anybody else?

LITTLEJOHN: Scott! I killed Scott, Lieutenant! I killed him and then I crawled over him. I CRAWLED OVER HIM.

DOC: Littlejohn, Saunders and Scott tried to blast the Krauts out with their grenades. They were working from the bridge. Littlejohn tripped. He couldn’t help it.

LITTLEJOHN: It was my fault. I was stupid, clumsy.

DOC: A Kraut was shooting at you! You couldn’t help what happened.

LITTLEJOHN: Scott, he was one of the nicest guys I ever met, and he wasn’t mad at anybody. He… all he ever wanted to do was tell those stories of his and make people laugh. And I had to…

DOC: Take it easy, you’re bleeding.

LITTLEJOHN: I don’t care. I killed, Lieutenant. I killed him.

Next in Command - Season 1, Episode 18, Syndication No. 23
Written by Burt Kennedy

[The Scene: Littlejohn on bicycle continues down the street with Billy at his side.]

LITTLEJOHN: Hey how’s that new corporal doing?

BILLY: Who? Cross?

LITTLEJOHN: Is that his name or his disposition?

BILLY: Ha, ha. Both! John Cross. You know there’s something really strange about him. I mean it. The way he keeps to himself all the time. I’ll bet he hasn’t said more than two words to me since he joined the outfit.

LITTLEJOHN: Well that’s cause you’re talking all the time, Billy. Never give him a chance.

BILLY: It goes deeper than that. I mean, there’s something REALLY wrong with him. You know how I am about sensing things.

LITTLEJOHN: Yeah, like the time you sensed there weren’t any Krauts on Omaha Beach?

BILLY: Well.

LITTLEJOHN: The trouble with you is you worry too much, Billy. Why don’t you just relax and enjoy the war like the rest of us?

BILLY: Well you mark my words, Littlejohn. That fellow, Cross, has got a problem.

LITTLEJOHN: So have we, Billy, a little farmhouse on a hill.

The Brothers - Season 5, Episode 4, Syndication No. 134
written by Irve Turnick

[The Scene: Littlejohn comes upon Marcel Paulon who has just killed a German Soldier. Suddenly Leon, Marcel's older brother appears, sees Marcel on his knees and thinking Marcel wounded, rushes to his side.]

Leon: Marcel!

Littlejohn: Don’t worry. He killed his Kraut for you.

Next in Command - Season 1, Episode 18, Syndication No. 23
Written by Burt Kennedy

[The Scene: Kirby has just finished giving his opinion about Cpl. Cross’s situation.]

LITTLEJOHN: Anybody who knows about stepping on toes, it’ll be you Kirby.

KIRBY: Why don’t you drop dead ya big ox.

CAJE: Don’t pay attention to him, Littlejohn. He’s his own worse enemy.

LITTLEJOHN: You wanna bet?

Next in Command - Season 2, Episode 18, Syndication No. 23
Written by Burt Kennedy

[The Scene: Night at the farmhouse.]

LITTLEJOHN: Rotten night!

BILLY: Wonder how long they’re gonna leave us up here?

LITTLEJOHN: Sergeant said 24 hours or more.

BILLY: Maybe less if the Germans find out we moved in.

LITTLEJOHN: Yeah.

BILLY: Hey, Littlejohn?

LITTLEJOHN: Yeah?

BILLY: I checked the headspace on this thing 5 times already, and I still can’t pull the trigger.

LITTLEJOHN: Tighten the barrel?

BILLY: Yeah.

LITTLEJOHN: Bag it off one click?

BILLY: I thought it was one turn.

LITTLEJOHN: One click.

BILLY: You know, it’s amazing how much you know about weapons… [Billy sees the suspicious look come over Littlejohn’s face] … No, I mean it! The way, the way you handle air-cools, water-cools, carbines, everything.

LITTLEJOHN: All right, let’s have it.

BILLY: What?

LITTLEJOHN: Well, you’re not building me up for nothing. Did you do something wrong, Billy?

BILLY: Well it wasn’t my fault.

LITTLEJOHN: What wasn’t?

BILLY: I heard a hiss as we were coming over the wall at the foot of the hill.

LITTLEJOHN: A hiss?

BILLY: Yeah, well I must have caught it on a sharp rock or something.

LITTLEJOHN: What caught?

BILLY: The tire. Look!

LITTLEJOHN: Flat!

BILLY: As a pancake.

LITTLEJOHN: I told you to be careful, Billy.

BILLY: Well, it was an accident, I’m sorry… [Billy chuckles.]

LITTLEJOHN: What’s so funny?

BILLY: I was thinking, maybe Doc could fix it. He’s good at patching things up.

LITTLEJOHN: Well you better get him to work on our friendship, Billy. Cause I’m just about ready to split the blanket with you.

BILLY: Well, I said I was sorry.

LITTLEJOHN: Well you don’t act it. You have any idea how far it is between inner tubes in this country?

Head Count - Season 5, Episode 8, Syndication No. 139
Written by James Menzies

[The Scene: After successfully bringing in 17 German prisoners Littlejohn, Saunders, Kirby lay resting outside a building in the town where battalion is head quartered.]

KIRBY: All those prisoners. Ought to be some kind of medal we could get for that.

LITTLEJOHN: Yeah, they ought to give me one for each foot.

[Littlejohn notices an American captain get out of a jeep. He bolts upright as he realizes it is the German Corporal Wiltz.]

WILTZ: As you were fellas. I’m Captain Wiltz.

SAUNDERS: Are you Intelligence?

WILTZ: I’m on my way to G-2 and I wanted you guys to know what a great job you did. My German kameraden have been talking a lot. It was worth the trip. Well, good luck to you.

KIRBY: Ah, I knew it. I knew he was an officer all the time.

LITTLEJOHN: Pewffff! We should have shot him when we had a chance.

 

 

 

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